As I write this, we are about a quarter of the way to Africa. At least time-wise, we are. We are sitting in the United Polaris Lounge at Newark International Airport, enjoying a six-hour layover (after our five-hour flight from Seattle) before boarding our second flight at 8:10 tonight. This will be our 15-hour nonstop flight to Cape Town. We certainly hope our day gets better. 

The first thing that happened this morning was that my watch did not give me the wake-up alarm that Siri had been asked to give me. I use Siri on my watch so that I can get up earlier and not wake Kathleen. It’s a silent, taptic alarm. Had never failed me until today. I’ve used it at least a hundred times. Today I had it set for 2:00 am and at 2:30 Kathleen woke me up and said, “Your alarm didn’t go off”. Luckily, I had only set it for the extra half hour, so I could do a few last-minute things that I got done anyway…but it was not a good start.

Then we were supposed to be picked up by Welcome Pickups (a service we have used all over the world) at 3:30 to be at SeaTac by 4:00 am for our 6:00 am flight. At approximately 3:30, our driver called me and informed me that they had a flat tire on the 405 freeway and would send someone else, who would arrive in about an hour or so. I told him that would not work, so he offered to send us an Uber, which he did. And that driver showed up in no time, drove like crazy and got us there almost exactly on time. Still ticked at Welcome Pickups, but a flat tire is a flat tire. I will be asking them for $$ back because our Uber trip in a Prius was about half the price I paid them for a really nice SUV.

Once we arrived at the airport, things calmed down, and we boarded easily and settled in. On this trip, we are flying with an airline we haven’t flown with since 2001, United. The primary reason we are flying with a US airline to a foreign country is that they are one of the few airlines (I’m not even sure if there are any others) that fly non-stop from the USA to Cape Town and from Johannesburg to our home. Plus, flying through Newark, we get to clear Customs here in New Jersey as opposed to at SeaTac when we get home. We can walk right out of the airport and go home.

The flight itself was pretty sad. We were in typical domestic First Class seats, but the breakfast we received left much to be desired. We gave it a C. Not a complete fail, but not really something you would ever want to eat again. The entertainment system was essentially worthless. They are experimenting with allowing you to use your own AirPod-type earbuds and connecting them to their system via Bluetooth. However, no matter what I did, I couldn’t get it to connect. So we asked for headphones, and they gave us both a pair of earbuds that were worse than the ones I used to listen to Dodger games on my transistor radio back in 1969. We were totally unable to understand any of the dialogue in the movies we wanted to watch. We hope that this will improve on the next flight. It’s going to be a long 15 hours if there is no entertainment. To top it off, none of the movies have closed captioning, so we couldn’t even read along.

However, we did arrive early (which resulted in a longer layover), and the flight was otherwise uneventful. And that brings us up to right now. We are sitting in the Polaris Lounge. This one is reserved only for those who are flying United’s Polaris Class to overseas destinations. It has all the usual stuff, plus a sit-down, à la carte-type restaurant where we are about to go have lunch. See you after with a full report.

Lunch was…interesting. As I mentioned, it is a sit-down restaurant. We went in, and they tried to stick us in the smallest, tightest fit corner banquette in the place. Luckily, a very nice server named Eva rescued us and sat us at one of her tables. She became the highlight of lunch.

I started with a tomato and burrata Caprese salad because I was in New Jersey. If you have never had a New Jersey tomato, you have never tasted the best tomatoes in the world. We discovered this on a trip to NYC a few years ago when we ordered the same kind of salad at a small Italian place in Greenwich Village. The tomatoes were easily the best I had ever eaten. Since then, every person who has been to New Jersey agrees with me that there are no tomatoes like those from New Jersey.

Our entrée was their “World Famous Polaris Burger.” It was a “fine” hamburger. Nothing to write home about. The cooker they used to make the “fries” broke so we got our burgers and then five minutes later, we got our fries. I called them “fries” because they were really about an eighth of a whole potato cut lengthwise. Interesting but decent. Again, nothing to write home about. So far, all United food is getting a big old C from me. Hope the flight down is better. When you fly for 15 hours, you get three meals. We got to pre-order one; the rest, we get what they have.

The truly entertaining part of lunch was the couple who sat down next to us. They were in their mid-forties and were obviously very busy businesspeople. Neither one stopped talking on their phones. They sat down, and while she berated her assistant on the phone, he debated with a colleague. Then he left. She ordered a crab cake and the caprese salad, a burger, and dessert. Then she walked away. So did he. The table sat there empty with their bags next to it for about five minutes. Then the food showed up. He ate about three bites and out he went again. She continued berating her assistant while eating about three bites of the salad. She had ordered the burger with everything on it, but when it arrived at the table, she tore it apart with her fingers, breaking the patty into tiny pieces and eating those. All this time, she was having a full-voice conversation. As soon as she was done with what little she had eaten, she got up and started walking around the restaurant while still going after the person on the phone. What a peach of a woman. She probably ate ten bites of food and told the server to take the rest away… and then ordered dessert (which she split with her partner, who had finally returned). Then they were up and gone.

So, so far, an interesting trip. More tomorrow. I am falling asleep now. Only an hour until we board our flight to Cape Town

Technology doesn’t address everything – for example, air travel still sucks.  —Brad Feld