We aren’t Virgin virgins anymore and we wish we were

This trip is our first time on Virgin Atlantic Air. I had heard good things about them, but sadly, I have to say that it’s all a lie. Well, it’s mostly a lie.

We were flying in Business Class, which is (of course) a little spendy. When you fly in business, you expect that if you pay that kind of money, you will get a product on par with other business class flights we have taken. But I knew as soon as we boarded this would not be a great flight.

First, the seats were the narrowest Business class seats I have ever seen. There was a small shelf with a can of water on it. You had to fold up the shelf for takeoff and landing. But I had to fold it up right away because there was no way I could sit in the seat with it open. There was no storage. Most Business class seats have decent storage. A place to put your phone or Kindle, but not on Virgin. There’s a tiny slot already filled with headphones, the airline magazine and the safety card. And that’s about all it would fit. That meant I had to keep my phone and pretty much anything else I wanted to have with me on my seat next to me.

One of the main reasons for choosing Business Class is the promise of lay-flat seats. In all our previous Business Class experiences, the seats began in an upright position and could be reclined to a fully flat position. This was not the case with Virgin Atlantic. The seat settings were limited to two extremes: upright or completely flat, like a dining room chair. Transitioning between these settings was cumbersome, adding to the overall dissatisfaction.

When you wanted to get some sleep, you had to stand up, move everything off the seat (hold it all while standing in the aisle) and then press a button that tilted the seat forward and flattened it. (I am so sorry I didn’t get a photo of that, but I promise to get one on the way home. The photo above is one I stole off the web.) Then, behind the seat, there was a large bag (like a cloth laundry bag) with a mattress cover, pillow and blanket inside of it. You made up your own bed (even though we had been told that the flight staff would do it), and that was that. It was almost impossible to do anything in the seat once it was flat. And you still had all the stuff you had when it was upright, except now you couldn’t put your headphones away either.

I have to admit that I got a couple of hours of sleep, but the bed part was pretty hard and not very long, so that meant sleeping on my side with my legs curled up. Speaking of the seat being…not very long…anyone over my height would have a very hard time sitting in the upright position. A tiny footstool sticks out into the aisle, and my feet barely fit on it. If my legs had been any longer, I would have had to put them over and into the aisle. Not good.

Speaking of the aisle, these were the most open seats we have ever seen. You were looking directly at the people sitting across the aisle from you. It’s one of the strangest configurations I have ever seen. My buddy Mike sent me a photo of his Virgin seat on an Airbus plane, and it looked very nice—more like the seats we are used to. Our 787 did not get those very nice seats.

There were other things even if you liked the seats (I don’t know how you could). The entertainment system had some movies, some TV, audio and game selections as well. But except for one film, they were all pretty old, and I had seen them. It was kind of sad, actually. I hope they change the movies before we go home at the end of the month.

It wasn’t all bad. The service was excellent, and the crew was very nice. Dinner was outstanding—some of the best food I have had on an airplane. But breakfast was totally inedible. I don’t get that. Some of the worst coffee I have ever had, cold fried sweet potatoes and a quiche that was as salty as the Dead Sea. The OJ they gave me came in a glass that was sticky all over. You can bet I passed on that.

Maybe the best thing about flying Virgin into Heathrow is that they land at Terminal 3. Most flights from the US land at Terminal 5, especially those from the US. But Virgin pretty much has Terminal 3 to itself. This meant getting off the plane and through passport control and customs in less than ten minutes. This is unheard of at Terminal 5. We had planned our usual time to do that and so had told our driver from Welcome Pickups to grab us at 11:00 am. We thought if we landed at 10 (as we were supposed to do), we would be an hour getting through. It took 2.5 hours on previous trips to get clear through in Terminal 5. But our flight arrived early, and by the time we got through passport control and customs, it was only 10:20. I called our driver, and he said he would be there by 10:40. That was super.

Speaking of drivers, when we went to Portugal last winter, I found a new transfer company to get us from airports to planes, planes to trains and trains to hotels. They are called Welcome Pickups. I have to give them a shout-out here because we have already used them twice on this trip, and they are superb! They are worldwide, and you can hire them easily on their website. So far, we used them at home to get to SeaTac, then another driver picked us up at Heathrow and took us across London to Kings Cross rail station to catch our train to Leeds. Both were on time or early. Both texted us to let us know where they were. Both stayed right on top of everything. This is the same way it was in Portugal. We have at least three more Welcome Pickups trips arranged on this trip. They charge a predetermined price (like Uber or Lyft), and it is right in the same ballpark price-wise. But they meet your plane (holding a sign with our name on it at Arrivals), they help you with your bags, and they get you where you are going as quickly as possible. Yesterday’s ride to King’s Cross would have been even worse in a taxi. We had horrendous traffic, and I would have been watching the meter all the way as it went off the charts. BTW: I know I have used the quote below before but it is still the truth. And to my British followers, I am NOT doing my Victor Meldrake impersonation.

Airplane travel is nature’s way of making you look like your passport photo.  —Al Gore